bitches keep hating

I'm losing friends like it's going out of style.

I don't even give a shit.

I love who I know

and who I still talk to.

anyone who wants to act fake around me, go right ahead. no bog deal.

i dont get it...

what am i doing wrong?

why is it that she can get 4 guys to pay more attention to her than her boy friend? she's got boys lined up for her. boys she's not even interested in..

and i don't even have one..

i don't know.

i shouldn't even let this bother me..

im done.

a few things

there are a couple things that i know i wont just happen to inherit in the near future that i kinda want/need... like I really really need a new iPod... mine is just too small for all the freaking music i have.. if any of my friends put out any more music i wont be able to upload it to my iPod.. and deleting music off of it makes me super depressed... so i need one of those.

I want a better camera.. and i know what you're thinking... Suzie, you just had your hands on a good camera and you dropped it STANDING STILL and broke it!! I know I KNOW! goddamit! i feel so stupid for that. i can't believe i did that. i cried for three days. i felt awful, i'm gonna try and take it to a camera shop to see if they can fix it... *Fingers crossed*... but I would like to have my own good camera because then if i break it well.. that's my damn camera... not my freaking older BROTHER'S!!! damn. i still feel bad about that... have i mentioned that i cried for three days after that happened?

I think this is it... the other thing i wanted was a bike, and well, we all know i have one of those... soo... i think i'm done here... sooooo... if any of you happen to have a bigger iPod or a good camera you don't want anymore... give me a holler... we can figure some sort of price or barter... yeah, i'm done.

later taters!

I guess because I've never been in the situation

where you "love" someone so much, even if they treat you like crap, ditch you for their friends constantly, put you down and make you cry, you're still gonna stay with them... I don't understand how you can stay with that kind of person. and then you say that you're stronger than that and you don't need that, and then you stick up for that person, even though they're just gonna turn around and make you cry again. "it hurts too much to forget about them..." & "I would have to move away to forget about them" so you would rather stay here and date this person who is obviously bad for you? I just don't get it... and you're always saying how that you would never put up with someone's bullshit and of you were in a relationship that was unhealthy you would deal with it... but i see it... i see that your relationship is unhealthy. you're always crying over him. he's always ditching you to be with his friends... and then when we spend a few weekends together he complains that you're always spending all the weekends with me... and you cant get upset with him, but he can get upset with you? that's not right. and all you say is that you need to talk, but every time you talk to each other about stuff like this you guys end up fighting and you crying and you coming to me telling me what happened... none of this makes me want to like him... i really did in the beginning... i did. i promise. but the things that you have told me and the way he's been treating you makes me all the more want to burn his house down with him inside... he makes you feel like shit all the time... not just this weekend. don't tell me it's just been this weekend... you were upset with him while you were in vacation and before you left.. i can't even count the number of times you've texted me telling me you're crying because of him... or that you're upset with something he did.. he doesn't help your situation at home either... he just seems to add on to the nonsense of it all... he said he's change, but we all can see that he hasn't and you have even admitted to that. and that he's not grown up enough to handle it... so why stick up for him? why stay with him? you gotta be strong... that's all I'm saying. I know you'll always care about him, but sometimes you gotta let it go, for better things to come along.. and he's no good for you.

i don't know what to tell you anymore because in the end you'll still stick around for him... sadly enough.

sorry for the rant... i needed to vent a little.

k thanks for listening. :)

Day 30: Who Am I?

Who am I? That’s a good question.

let’s take a look.

I’m Suzie. I am 22 years old, I am a native Chicagoan. I love my city and I don’t know if I could ever leave here. I am Chicago Fan, I like hockey and baseball, and sometimes Football… if you’re from a different city I think your team sucks and I don’t care about the stats. Chicago teams pretty much suck, so you’re probably right when you say yours is better, but I’ll defend my city’s teams til the day I die. I am a music enthusiast. It is my life and without music my life would be absolutely horrendous. I love going to live shows, and I am pretty tolerable to all music. I have a very wide taste in music too. I am a little sister. I have the best two older brothers a girl could ask for. No matter how much we fight or argue we still always are there for each other and help each other when its possible.

But most importantly, I am me. I have never changed for anyone and I never plan on changing. I am honest (sometimes too honest) and kind and loving. I am always there when you need me and I am always willing to help out when you’re in need. I am never fake or pretend to be someone i am not. I am me, and that’s who I’ll always be.

“Love me or leave me, or rip me apart, This is the Voice that I was given and if you don’t like it take a long walk off of the shortest pier you can find, ‘cause I’ll be singing it out, I’ll be singing…” -TAI…

Day 29: What I Have Learned This Past Month.

In the last month I’ve learned not to rely on other people to be there all the time. Sometimes people will let you down, and so will the weather… no matter how rain-proof your tent is, it’s still not gonna keep the flood from leaking in and soaking your blankets. Sometimes people are very petty and choose not to do things for others because of silly miscommunications… I’ve learned not to take the turns too fast or you will fall off your bike and damage your knees and elbows. Sometimes the refrigerator repair man doesn’t get it right the first time, or second time, or even third time, so you just have to give in and buy a new one. even the smallest things, like a 3 year old going pee on the big potty are the most rewarding of things. sometimes the people who you think you know the best are the people who you don’t know at all and the people who you don’t know are the people you can relate to the most…

that’s all for now i guess, i can’t think of anything else.

i’m hungry.

later taters.

I went to the Famous Like You CD release show last night

and I have a few thoughts on it.

It’s so nuts to see the same band and same guys that I’ve been going to see for a year or so now up on stage not singing and playing the songs I know by heart, but playing new ones that in a matter of days I will know too. While I was watching them play their new songs there was this sense of new everywhere. They seemed happier if that’s possible. Don’t get me wrong they always look happy when they’re up on stage doing what they love to do the most, but they just looked happier. And older. I mean yeah, logically they are all older, but playing these songs made the band as a whole look more mature. Like, I can think back to all the A Kidnap In Color shows and it all felt a little childish, but there was this sense of grown-up last night, I just can’t really explain. You would have just had to have been there… I think the new songs are probably the biggest factor in this. They are a deeper and more universal so people can relate to them a little more than A Kidnap in Color’s songs. Don’t get me wrong, AKIC songs were all very catchy, but that’s all they were pretty much. I don’t think I could really relate to any of those songs beside Leave the Light on. But from the few songs I have heard from Famous Like You, I’m sure pretty much everyone could find something to relate to in at least one of the songs.

It was good to see that they still had the same fans come out to see them, I recognized a lot of the same faces from old shows… it’s good to see that kids are still gonna support them even with a name change and new songs. but like I see it, they’re the same band, the same group of great guys, same musicians, they just changed their name, kicked the old songs out and wrote a bunch of better ones. (I’m not saying AKIC songs were bad at all, just saying FLY’s new songs are gonna be hits.)

Out with the old, and in with new right?

So,to Davey, Peter, Dan and Chris, great job last night. I look forward to listening to your new EP on repeat for a while and can’t wait to see you lovely fellas at more shows. Keep doing what you guys do, because it’s working for you.