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Bob Marley once said "When music hits you, you feel no pain."

Sorry Bob, but you're wrong.

Music is life at it's height of emotion. It can make you feel the happiest on the best of days or sink deeper when the world turns it's back on you.
Music can be your best friend or your worst enemy,

your way to express or your way to suppress.

It will never walk out on you, hate you, or second guess anything about you..
Music is Life.

No Music = No Life.

The End.

[hello twelve forty-seven eh em]

ok... I have nothing to really do right about.. and I'm bored... and can't sleep... this is what a venti caramel macciato, Dr. Pepper and a Frostee will do to a tiny girl like me. haha.

soo I was thinking... lets play s rousing game of FF's!! YAY!!!

and awaaay we goooooo!!! : )

FF#1: I hate when my fingernails are bare... I can not stand it. I will let my nail polish be chipped and peeling off, but I will not go with naked nails. it's just unheard of! I usually cut my nails down because I feel like a hooker with painted long nails, but sometimes I'll let them grow.. depends on the color I guess... recently I've been rocking the Ke$ha gold... it's pretty $tonchtastic if you ask me. haha...

that comes to FF#2:

the word Stonch. don't ask what it means, because I can't tell you... like literally, I just can't... but either you jump on board with it or leave it to the pros... it's up to you... you can put it with most words. Sam and I use it all the time... and we throw in the $ to make it our own.. we actually picked it up from the band guys.. they started it.. we kind took it from them.. we plan on copyrighting it. aha.. jk.. kinda... some good examples of Stonchisms: $tonchmuffin, $tonchlove, lame$tonch, $tonchface, Love$tonch, boo$tonch, $tonchmonkey, biff$tonch, $tonchtastic, $tonchalicious.. just a few to give you an idea... hahaha

FF#3: I am a grammar fiend. it kills me when people write like this: heii! wat r u ^ 2 2mro? AHHHHH!!!! is it soo hard to just write the real word and spell it correctly? REALLY!! oh! and it's they're, there & their and your & your and to & too and then & than!! come on!!!!! we learn that in like what the third grade? get it together people!

FF#4: in no particular order my favorite fruits are: kiwi, pineapple, mango, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, cherries, red grapes, bananas, and chocolate. I'm aware that last one isn't a fruit.. so sue me!

FF#5: I don't like the fact that we eat animals, but yet I could never go vegetarian... I've tried and failed... i am weak for bacon and corn beef. and more bacon. I think it's cruel to kill animals when we have so many other options of food sources and the shit they pump into animals these days is disgusting... and yet I just cant go vegetarian. : ( makes me sad. maybe some day.

FF#6: i love things that glow in the dark. it amuses me. i use to say i wanted to paint my car glow in the dark and drive around at night.. i think that would be awesome. I love the star stickers on my ceiling and the dinosaur i bought at dinoworld in florida, and I even have glow in the dark nail polish... sometimes I paint my nails with it and I forget and turn off my lights and freak myself out... haha... sometimes i'm stupid.

FF#7: I wish I had a arm sleeve... you know what I'm talking about? a tattoo sleeve? like my whole arm inked up with $tonchtastic tats... yeah.. I want to be hard core like that.. my mother would KILL me!! but i do also want a tattoo... a peace dove on my right side with "you may say I'm a dreamer..." under it... we'll see...

FF#8: I also want my lip pierced. not in the middle tho.. on the left side.. I think it looks so cool and I've been thinking about it more and more... it's more likely that I would do this than I would get an arm sleeve... So mom, be glad I'm not getting a sleeve. haha

FF#9: my cat Stanley snores. most cats do... but he's ridiculous. he makes all kind of weird noises when he sleeps.. He also has breathing problems and meowing problems... he doesn't really meow he like squeaks... its awkward.. and grunts when he eats.. thats kinda funny. I love him tho.. no matter how retarded he is.

FF#10: (last one): I have a crush on someone. guess who it is. I'm not telling. he's cute, and plays in a band. that's all. : )

OK. I'm done playing Fun Facts. I hope this lets you inside the mind of a crazy girl. because all its doing for me is making me realize how awkward and crazy i am... ps. i think i have sheet burn on my elbow... how awkward is that?! hahaha. it hurts like a mo$tonch. thats a new one, i just made it up. ahahah YES!! see. CRAZZZZZY! haha.

Ok. it's late, and I have to go to the zoo tomorrow with Jack and Ben... woo. sooOOoOoo... (buttons on your underwear!) i never go that... who the hell sews buttons on their underwear?! ok.. i have to sleep now.. i'm going insane, out of my mind, KooKoo, nutty, banana sandwich.

k. thanks for reading my insanity. byyyyyye. : )

Are We Growing Up, Or Just Going Down?

I have an issue with one band in particular for the past couple years because in my eyes, along with a lot of other Chicago kids, they had "sold out"... But then again... what band hasn't sold out? If a band wants to make it anywhere in this business they're gonna have to break a few fences and expand their horizon a little... Not every local band stays local, and when they do go big, why do all of their old fans diminish and call them sell outs? They're just trying to reach more people and maybe land a label, tour and do what they love, play music... so if that means selling out... then every band should sell out. And if you're a fan of a band that makes it big then you should support them in every way you possibly can... if you truly love their music and what they are doing then it shouldn't be such a big deal that their going on tour or doing a commercial or on a sound track... to be honest with you... if this band is a local band and they're doing anything other than playing gigs around the area you should be excited for them... they need all the support and encouragement as they can! You were their fan first, and if you go to shows and shit, they'll remember you forever... they'll know they have the most support from you when they come back home...

Don't hate on bands that are trying to make themselves known and might sell out... that's what bands do, they start out small and local, but if you want them to succeed, then you're going to have to let them grow and expand. And with the love and support from you as a "local" fan, they will do some great things...

So. here's my apology:

Dear __(insert band name here)_ ,

I'm sorry I hated on you guys for so long, and called you sell outs. I enjoyed your time as a local Chicago band, and I love your music. I will always support you music, if you ever choose to make more of it.. to be honest your last album sucked.. minus maybe one song. But, you guys didn't sell out.. you just needed to grow into a mature band... which you did, and even though I wasn't as much of a fan anymore, I still bought all your albums and supported you guys. You will always be one of my favorite Chicago bands and I will remember you forever. Thanks for the memories... hahaha... yeah i just made a song reference.

Love, Suzie

ok. I'm done.

Bands don't sell out, fans do. Don't be a shitty fan.

My Mother Use to Tell Me My Imagination Would Run Away Sometimes

I guess the fact that I like to make things up goes all the way back to the 4 year old me... I made up stuff then too... My mother would tell me all the time that I would let my imagination run away... far enough so that I ran away with it sometimes... I would do stuff that I really never did, go places I never really had been to, and I would did it all with Junior.

Junior was my best friend, granted he was imaginary, but we were pretty tight. (don't laugh, it's absolutely normal for children to have imaginary friends.) We did everything together. We went everywhere together. If I got in trouble, it wasn't my fault, Junior took the blame.

When I got older I wondered why I had him... I even learned about imaginary friends in an Ed. Psych class my freshman year of college... and the reasoning behind it didn't make sense to me. Most of the time kids make up imaginary friends because they are the only children and have no one around... I have 2 older brothers and an imaginary friend. I asked Sam about it, she's an only child, and she never had an imaginary friend... So I pondered this a little more than I probably should have, but came up with this: I had two older brothers who were 3 and 6 years older than me (I still have them ahah), but they were busy with going to school and having their own friends, so I was probably compensating what I knew I was missing by creating a new friend in my head... unlike Sam, who didn't have brothers or sisters, so she was use to being by herself... Well... sometime I feel like I didn't just create Junior, Junior came to me, like any type of friend would.

I don't remember much about the types of things we would do, but I do remember he use to live in Florida with his mom and dad and 12 brothers and sisters and he just needed some peace and quiet. I never really knew what he looked like, I had never given him a face or hair color or a style... he was just there in my head. I remember I had learned that the abbreviation for Junior was Jr. and thats how I spelled his name, only because I didn't know how to spell Junior. haha

The only stuff I can recall is from what my mom has told me about it.. Like how she would ask me about my day and I would tell her I went to the movies and saw a movie that had recently came out... and knowing quite well I hadn't gone to the movies that day, she'd ask me who I went with because she didn't take me and I was respond "With Junior!" I would make up extensive stories about what I had done and where I went and my mom would always tell me that I let my imagination run away again.

I do remember sitting in the front room one day and I obviously had done something wrong because my mom was calling me by my full first name and I ran into my kitchen and shouted "I didn't do it! Junior did!" haha. I blamed his for everything, and he didn't seem to care. He was a great friend.

As the years went by and as I grew up and gained my own "real" friends in school, Junior faded away. I lost touch with him. My mom would ask once in a while where he went, I told her he moved back to Florida because his mom and dad and 12 brothers and sisters missed him so much after all those years of him living with me. And every once in a while now my mom will catch me talking to myself in my room and she'll be all like "who are you talking to in here?" and I'll look at her and smile and say "Junior. He came for a visit. He says Hi!" He isn't gone forever, I just don't need him like I use to.

Sad sometimes. I wish I could make up stories and pretend to do stuff I really didn't and say I did it all with someone who likes everything I like and is completely invisible and silent.. and only says things I want him to say... (the perfect boyfriend!!! just kidding.. kinda)... haha : )

And it would be nice to blame the stupid shit I do on someone who wont yell back at me and blame me instead. He could take the heat for everything. How funny would it be if like I got pulled over for speeding and was like "But officer, I wasn't speeding... Junior was." and he was like "oh well then, I'll let you go. Have a nice day! Tell Junior to lay off the accelerator." hahaha. Only in my perfect world.

I don't care what you think about this and I don't care if you think I'm crazy or nuts or koo-koo... I think having Junior as part of my life helped me grow and sometimes you just need to let things go, grow up and learn to do things on your own. Sad to say, but we all lose our imaginary friends, but we gain real ones, and you will have a lot of those in your lives, and you have to find out which ones are going to stay in your lives and which ones are only making an appearance. You'll know which ones are which when the time comes. But love them no matter what... friends are the family you get to choose.

oh. ps. Don't worry about Junior... He's still living in Florida. He's got a really nice condo on the beach and he's pretty rich being awesome and such. I go visit him once in a while when I'm down there.. : ) (kidding... ...maybe)

Sometimes I Feel Bad

When I don't post new blogs. Not like anyone reads them, but I always feel like I need to update more often...

This was the problem when I was younger and I wanted to keep a journal. I would always want to write, but I had nothing to write about... so there are four half written in journals around here somewhere with stupid dribble in it about how 7th grade really sucks and how I can't wait to be in 8th grade because the teachers are soo much cooler, and Oh My God. Neal Fischer is just such a hottie even though he's a 10th grader and has no idea who the hell i am... (he knows who i am now. haha)

There just hasn't been anything to post about... but I love posting. It's like when I wake up in the middle of the night with the urge to write just because I like seeing my own handwriting. I like blogging and reading my own thoughts... does that make me a weirdo? ummm.... does it look like I care if it does? Nope. : )

sooo lemme think of something...

OK. I got something.

I've been sick now with a blasted cold for the past week and a half... stuffy runny nose, coughing up junk that no one wants to see, soar throats and to top it all off, I sound like a man... I hate being sick.. it pretty much sucks. I don't know why anyone would want to be sick.. like... when you're in grade school and you wish you were sick so you can stay home from school... well... why would you want to be sick and stay home? being sick is miserable and it's like, if I was going to stay home from school I would like to enjoy it instead of being all stuffed up and coughy and leaky... yeah, no thanks. I'm so over being sick.. It just needs to go away. kthanks.

OH! It's finally warm-ish out... for the past like week it's been in the high 40's - mid 50's. and the last two nights its been rainy!! I love the rain. I love thunder and lightning. I love puddles and mud. It's the best. It's good sleeping weather too... I could sleep all day when it's rainy. I love listening to the rain when it hits my windows and the roof.. there's something so soothing about the rain. It's just a sign that real spring is soon and that means SUMMER is close!!

And spring means BASEBALL SEASON!!! WOO!! I love baseball. I come from a predominate baseball family. We all played little league and still enjoy playing catch and stuff... I am the only White Sox fan out of my family, everyone else is a Cubs fan... I don't have much to say on that though.. we both kinda really suck, so I don't care.

...I've been sitting here trying to think of something else to write about... but it seems like there's nothing to say... i know there will be some stuff coming up... that's for sure... It's spring break... and Bill$tonch is having a birthday next Friday.. we were invited to his party... I'll tell you about that later... but that's about it... I can't think of anything else... womp womp.

I guess I'm done. later home$tonches.

I Underestimated the Sate of Indiana... Hobart, IN

a couple weekends ago Sam got a text message from Bill Cox, guitarist of Danger Is My Middle Name inviting us bowling out in his hometown of Hobart, Indiana... both of us shocked and excited... we replied yes, but we couldn't make it out in time to bowl, but we could go out there and hang out, go to a bar or something... He was vague on the details of what we were doing, but we were doing something... it was gonna be hilarious.

We had a very small perspective of the state of Indiana... farmland and hillbillies for the most part... girls walking around in pajama pants and dudes in overalls... yeah we're small minded city kids that's for sure... what else were we suppose to think?

After getting lost we finally get to where we were suppose to be... and it was just what we expected... farm and forest... driving on some little podunk road through trees and it's dark, three young white girls in the car... we were afraid we were gonna get jumped or hit by a deer... passing Bill's house once we had to turn around, almost driving our car into the woods... We finally find it.. and go into his house.. We were afraid that when we got back to the car there would be a deer in the front seat.. haha.. we're such losers...

So there we are all sitting in Bill's basement bedroom, and then we get the tour.. haha.. it's like the most awkward thing I have ever experienced... I think I can say the same for Sam and Lisa.. we toured his house and poked fun at Indiana. We then sat in Bill's room and watched the last hour and a half of Amity Horror and got even more freaked out about being surrounded by woods and such...

As awkward as this all sounds, you have no idea. after probably 2 hours, and Bill asking if his shirt was too plain about 40 times... we finally left...

None of us knew where we were going, only Bill who was driving.. and so we drove.. and then came to Club 83. Dance Club. ohhh yeaaaah. Not only are we in Hickville, but there are gangs here... this place was hood for sure... They checked all of our ID's like for ten minutes each... made us check our coats and hoodies and made sure we weren't carrying weapons... I'm dead serious.. haha.

Now. This is Indiana... soooo... like I have stated before... they don't have the smoking ban, so it was nasty gross in there, and not only was there a dance floor and stage.. but a stripper pole and fog.. you know because Indiana keeps it classy.

Don't get me wrong... we were all really amused by all this, but once it all kind of set in, we were totally down for it. Sam, Lisa and I love to dance, and they were playing some great music, so we hit the dance floor and Bill came in later.. it was pretty much a fantastic night...

Who knew that Indiana could be that much fun... you have no idea if you haven't been there... we plan on going back numerous time... maybe not staying out til 5 am this time tho.. oops. : )