A Toast to New Beginnings!!

ok. so in the past like 5 days a whole lot of shit has happened that has dramatically changed my life completely. And I am not worried about it at all...

Let us begin.

On Wednesday I get this sassy call from a lady at my school asking me if i'm attending the semester and well.. yeah i was kinda planning on going.. kinda.. sorta.. and then she's all like well you are aware you didn't make academic standards the last two semesters so we took away your financial aid right? and im like yeah that seems about right. Then she proceeds to drop the ultimatum. She tells me in her snarky tone that i owe the school ten thousand dollars or they're dropping me from the curriculum... umm... boohoo. and here's the topper. i owe all this money by the end of the day friday... yeah hey thanks for the heads up... THREE FREAKING DAYS BEFORE IT'S DUE! jackasses. and she's like i need an answer from you. and i was trying to be polite but i think i sounded too happy about this... but scared shitless because i needed to tell my dad. I told the snarky lady on the phone that i needed to call my dad first because i couldn't just make this desicion on my own... so i took down her number and name and i called my dad. to be honest... he took it a little better than i thought he would.. and do did my mom... as i'm talking to my dad for the second time, i'm on my way to the community college to sign up for classes... i knew i was gonna drop my other school.. i just had that feeling...

So Jessie and I signed up for some amazing classes we will attend together and I'm super excited to go. haha. i never thought i would be excited to go to CC, but I'm so pumped... like fist pumpin' excited. haha...

I talked to my mom and she gave me the OK and it was like nothing I have ever felt before in my life!! it's a glorious feeling.

I'm looking into ASL interpretation at a school down town and I think that's something i really want to do.. it'll be fun.

OMG. ok. The A Kidnap in Color show was last night and it was AMAZZZZZZING!! not as many people as i thought and well... i was with friends over 21 so we got to drink instead of just hanging out.. AKNIC always puts on an awesome show, but being at the Metro and headlining just made it all that more spactacular. They have this presence about them when they preform and it's just beautiful to watch. They were like little kids on Christmas morning... adorable and excited and full of life and energy.

The we hit up the after party where we danced and drank... and ran into so random guys from high school... who i haven't talked to since maybe 8th grade... who were suuuper friendly to me and all wanted hugs before they left.. can we say awkward? yeah.. for sure. I'm looking forward to the next few shows and hanging out with my lovely partner in crime/the revolution, Sam. she the best p.i.c. ever.. haha. We're taking over the local scene one 15 year old girl at a time. boom.

so... that's it for now... and lets just say.. i'm ok with it. :) hehe there he is again. i love him. lol

so Here's to new beginnings and to the REVOLUTION!! haha.

peas.

What is this Feeling I have Inside?

so I'm feeling all weird inside and i'm not sure how to express it... and no. it's not love... there's none of that. i think... it's happiness... ? yes. i think thats it. A LOT has happened in the last like 12 hours and i don't think i could have made better choices. I feel like there is a lot of weight that had been taken off of me that i've been holding onto for soooo long, and now it's gone. with just a few phone calls and some swift decisions, but not too swift. they were thoughtful and had lots of input from very important people, and i'm very thankful for them helping me out. and i love them very much.

I feel like I was drowning in a really shallow puddle and I couldn't just stand up.

I'm ok now... I really am. Like i said before, this year is going to be full of life changing decisions and there is so much potential. who knows what's going to happen.

I also feel like i have a little more confidence in myself. that's always been a problem with myself. and i feel like i now have more of it and it's making me feel better about myself and what i'm doing.

my parents make me feel very confident too. they support me and what i do, and always will... and even when i feel like the biggest failure they know me better than i know myself and have complete confidence in my success and that makes me believe in myself.

I just felt like i needed to get that out.

I am very happy and i don't think anything can make me happier at this point... and if something does... you'll know. haha.

ok. my best frien two-fifteen AM is staring me in the face... i'll go now.

peas.

it's just a thing...

I was reading another kid's blog about how he didn't want to download the new Motion City Soundtrack album because how he's like this band since high school and it will mean more to him to listen to it on the original release date off the album that he purchased himself, and it reminded me of how i do pretty much the same thing... I feel i can't just download an album i can go out and buy that was made by a band that means so much to me.. I have gone out and bought every Fall Out Boy album and The Academy Is.. It has more of a sentimental feeling when you go out and buy the album and you know you own it instead of just logging into iTunes and downloading it.

People always ask me why i keep going out with buy albums and i just feel that if i don't go and spend a little more time searching for it and holding it in my hands and maybe spending a little more money on it, yes, but i know it's here with me and it's something i can physically see... i love seeing the cover art, and the album art and looking through the booklet.. just the experience of having it. It just means more to me than just typing in the band name, or album name and hitting "Buy Album" on iTunes. I take pride in the fact i own so many albums.. and if that makes me out of date, then call me what you will, i don't really care.

I mean, I'm not hating on iTunes, i love that invention... it's one of the best. I use it all the time, if you know me at all... i asked for iTunes cards for xmas... i feel it's the easiest way to find bands that aren't in stores... those local bands that i love so much.. they're not signed to a label, so they're not at a store chillin' on a rack... i need to find them elsewhere and if they don't have they're music downloadable somewhere else, i need to hit up iTunes.. i love it. But if i know for a fact that i can just hit up a Best Buy and get a copy there I will.. i love owning the album.. it makes me feel just accomplished in my life.. haha..

ok. i just felt like i needed to say that.. it's out there now.. :) hey look it's that little guy again! so cute. haha.

(4 days til AKNIC @ Metro!! totally stoked!)

later taters!

peas.

Let's Make Some History Happen! AKIC @ The Metro!

ok! get ready for this! are you psyched? cuz i know i am! imma let you in on this and you better be pumped!

here we goo!

A Kid Nap In Color is HEADLINING at the Metro in Chicago on January 16th (OMG!!) and it would be so awesome if everyone could come out and see them! i know... you're probably thinking... do i really want to pay to see a band i don't really know? Well... YES! and plus... it's only $6/2! OMG! yeah you read that right. You can buy a ticket here! and punch in the discount code "kidnap" and get your ticket for $6 and it is good for 2 people, so you can bring a friend for FREE!!! That has never been done before in Metro history! So you'd be a part of HISTORY! how sick is that!!! plus if you order your ticket online, AKNIC will give you two new songs for absolutely FREE!! HOLY SHIT! there's a lot of free stuff flying around here!

Then. if you haven't heard A Kid Nap In Color before, head on over to www.myspace.com/akidnapincolor and check them out. they totes rock fosh. this aint no joke.

I'm pretty sure everyone should come to this. oh what's that? you live outta town and you can't make it? there is this new thing, it's called a car... and you drive it over to Chicago and get your ass to the Metro cuz this band rocks. You know you want to.. it's only 6 bucks and you can drag a friend along too!

So come out, support some awesome local bands and make some freaking history happen!!

Take a Sip From My Stream of Conscience...

it's been awhile since my last post and i know there's a lot to say... but it's thinking of it all that really turns me off on writing it down... or umm... i guess... typing it all out.. you know because no one writes anything out anymore. it's 2010... it's the FUTURE! *rolls eyes*

Not a whole lot exciting happened since the last time i blogged... nothing worth blogging about i guess... nothing that has struck my fancy to share with the universe.. or well.. my universe.. the like 2.5 people who actually read this. haha.

ok. so lets see... hang on... lets see if i can remember what has happened recently... (five minutes later)... uhhh... ok... since my last post... Sisky is still alive, she recently resides in a much larger tank tho (thanks to my brother for buying one for me for Christmas)... OH CHRISTMAS happened! yeah!! i got a lot of cool shit. mostly all the stuff i ordered online and just shipped to my dad so he could wrap it and give it back to me on Christmas... i also opened them all up on I-294 on the way to my uncle's house. Yeah, that's how i roll...

I also hit up two shows since the last one at Reggie's. I drove out to Valpo, IN to visit a friend and we went to an acoustic Kidnap show in Crown Pointe, which was really cool. I always love acoustic shows, they're a little more laid back and the songs sound so rad. So that weekend was an acoustic weekend with William Beckett's acoustic show at Reggie's the night before and then the AKNIC show the night after. And then maybe a week later Teegan and I went down to Sub-T to see Danger Is My Middle Name and The Audition. Both bands were totally bad ass.. I am looking forward to January 16th when AKNIC headlines at the Metro... but that will be a whole different blog, coming soon!

OH. yeah. so it's 2010. woot woot. another year i made it out alive. yay me. ha. i don't know how i feel about this new year, it's like, i don't know what's going to happen, there's so much potential here, but then again, if i set my hopes too high, they usually die.. so i'm just gonna take it as it comes i guess.. yeah.

i don't plan on making new years resolutions because 1. i never have, why start now and 2. i feel if i start one, and i fail at it, i won't be letting myself down, and i wont have to kill myself... jk jk... im not like that... i wouldn't kill myself.. and i know it's not funny to talk about. and i truly am sorry about your friend's brother's friend's sister's friend who killed herself over something no one really remembers anyways.. it's tragic. but anyways...

I guess the new year has been pretty good so far tho. it has lead me to Florida. yeah. that's where i am typing out this blog right now... YEAH! but don't be super jealous cuz it's only like 30 degrees and it's like 2 AM, so nothing quite exciting. haha. And it's not like i am somewhere cool in Florida... just in St. Pete, chillin with my family.. booya? i think so.

i got in yesterday afternoonish and it was maybe in the 60's but it could have been colder, but the sun was out. i'm staying on the beach so i got some cool beach pics and then some baller sunset pics... even tho today was cloudy, it kinda cleared up at night and i could see a million stars. i was amazed. shows what i can find so amazing after living under ugly orange barf glow for so long. something else that i find... not amazing, but amusing is that for being in the 50's or so down here, people are bundled up like it was in the teens. haha. it's cute.

i don't leave til saturday for home, but i kinda already miss it... whenever i leave i feel like i'm missing out on what's going on at home... but then i realize nothing is ever going on at home and i'm glad i'm here... yeah.

.....(ten minutes of thinking later)... yeah... uh... i think i have run out of things to blog about right now... this is pretty much why i couldn't keep a journal when i was younger... nothing worth writing about happens... i have like 6 half written in journals lying around my room collecting dust... but the cool thing about this is... well.. there's a few things... 1. people read this one.. not many people but there are a select few who read all this dribble i write... 2. i'm not writing about every single boy i ever liked ever... that's the common factor in all of my journals... all my crushes and boys. i must sound like a crazy freak writing about them.. jeeeze. 3. i don't feel like i have to fill the whole book in.. there is no book to fill here... just an unlimited amount of space to share my thoughts... take a sip from my stream of conscience. yeah. i totes just said that. haha.

to those 2.5 people who actually do read my blog, i hope at some point while reading i make you laugh a little... cuz that's my goal. i want you to laugh at me. yeah i'm giving you this select permission to laugh at me... not that i really care if you do when i see you in person, but it would make me happy if you did laugh at least once while reading this.

here's the thing... i think if i can make someone laugh i have accomplished my new years resolution, which if i was to make one that is, to make people happy. and when you laugh it's like a hiccup of happiness. and that will make me happy. and if you feel weird laughing at me think of it this way, while i was writing half of this i was laughing at myself... soo yeah. go ahead and laugh it up you shmucks. sorry. i just love that word. :) oh that's a cute little guy there... i usually make him like this = ) but :) this is just a little tyke.. a cutie. aww. love him. (insert reader's laugh here) ...

i have an idea!!! lets play a good round of FF's (remember FF's= Fun Facts!)

AND HEEEERE WEEE GOOOOO!!!

1. i love brushing my teeth. yeah. you read that right. i love brushing my teeth. i dont know why but i do. it's my favorite part of getting ready for the day and getting ready for bed... and sometimes i brush in the afternoon just for the fun of it..

2. my pajamas have to match... cuz you know all those people who see them while i sleep.. but if they don't match i have to change... i think this stems from the idea if my house sets on fire and i have to leave my house without changing i will match and the fire fighters and police officers wont think i'm a freak... haha

3. i don't leave without at least putting on mascara... that's usually all i put on if not like bronzer or something.. but will not could not go out without mascara... my eyes look super tiny if i don't wear it and i feel scummy until i put it on..

4. i wear big round flat earrings to make people think my ears are gauged but in reality they are normal holes... i get so many people asking me what size my gauges are and i like to make up numbers and see if they believe me... if they believe me they clearly don't know one thing about gauges, and if they don't believe me i run away. haha. i can usually decipher who from who so i never have to run away.

5. in this order precisely are my favorite colors: green, pink, yellow, turquoise, purple. there's really nothing more to say about that..

6. i love love love making lists. like this one. i just do. for everything and anything.

ok... i think thats enough FF's for ya for one post. ahha.

so.. look out for a new post soon about AKNIC at the Metro and i guess i'll see ya around the old stream.

peas.

p.s. i realized i didn't capitalize any of my i's and i really don't care what you have to say about it... and i guess i'm just too lazy to do anything about it... just be happy i used apostrophes.. that just bothers me when those aren't used... and all my spelling is correct (with the exception of the words that are not really words at all) haha. i just like looking at those red dotted lines underneath them to fixed them.. :) there's that little guy again. he's so cute! (like someone i know) haha. i won't be my crazy 12 year old self and gush about him tho.. that's awkward. haha

ok.

fin.